We are supposed to go to the dentist every six months. Here’s what you do. When your appointment approaches, call in and reschedule. Push it off a month if you can. Now when you go to your appointment that will occur in month seven. But here is the key. They will reschedule you FOR SIX MONTHS LATER NOT FIVE!! So you see if you keep doing this you can avoid the dentist for two extra months a year and still be able to pretend that you are going every six months just like you are supposed to.
Now if you do this for forty years that is eighty months of avoidance. THINK ABOUT IT. YOU WILL HAVE AVOIDED THE DENTIST FOR SIX AND SIX TENTHS YEARS. Brilliant.
Not being unmindful of the blessings associated with what I have, there are some things I could definitely do without.
1. The Fox Sports mechanical (?), armor clad (?) robot (?) warrior (?) which does Karate moves and jumping exercises during channel breaks. Not sure what that has to do with football and boy it is getting irritating.
2. Loud commercials. I read where Congress is passing a bill to regulate that. Figures. Still no law concerning keeping passengers trapped on sitting airplanes for hours but Congress wants to lower the volume on commercials.
3. Local news teasers acting like some big weather disaster is coming.
4. People who sincerely believe that if they have never heard of something then it can’t possibly be true. Also known as being in denial that you are basically uninformed because you are too lazy to read papers or listen to the news.
5. Politicians who preface their answers by saying “look.”
1. The Mountaineers are going to a good bowl.
2. Bill Stewart.
3. The health care reform bill may have flaws but at least the issue is being addressed.
4. America has soldiers willing to go into harm’s way even though the nation has doubts about the mission.
5. The swine flu epidemic seems to be much less severe than predicted.
6. The WVU basketball team is great.
7. Although America has a bad economy, it is still better than 99% of the other nations in the world.
8. Murders, accidents and crime still make the news. If we ever reach the point where such things are too commonplace to grab headlines, we are in real trouble.
West Virginia has done a good job this season. 9 and 3 is what I predicted back in August. Now we go to the Gator Bowl and should play the Seminoles. That is one we can win. Next year? If Noel Devine and Jock come back I think Ryan Clark and Gino Smith at QB will produce another good season.
Texas sure doesn’t look like the Number 2 team in the nation. If Cincinnati plays Florida, oh my the Bearcats are going to get totally waxed.
Alabama should win the national championship.
USC is imploding once again. But then it is a Hollywood team.
Upset prediction: Ohio State is going to lose to Oregon in the Rose Bowl.