Authority

In 1971 I was in Vietnam with my buddy, Jocko Booth.  We were Army draftees.  One day in Saigon we passed a second lieutenant dressed for some reason in starched khakis with a “fruit salad” of ribbons pinned on his uniform.  Jocko and I were wearing jungle fatiques and boonie hats.  Once we had passed this fellow, he yelled out, “Don’t you soldiers know how to salute?”  We slowly turned around, answered “yes” and proceeded to salute.  He sternly returned the salute. 

 “Sir,” Jocko said, “around here we don’t do much saluting.” 

“And why is that, soldier?” he asked.

Jocko grinned.  “It just tells Charlie who to shoot, sir.”

 

 

Idea

Unfortunately, too many people outside of our state think that West Virginia is near Roanoke.  If Virginia would just change its name to East Virginia, this confusion might lessen. 

Parking laws

Have you ever noticed how some people apparently believe that it is OK to park illegally as long as they leave the flashers on?  I guess the theory is that this shows “Hey, I know I’m not supposed to park here but I’m going to be right back so cut me a break.” 

Politics

When:  Spring 2008.  Where:  Marmet, West Virginia.  A candidate for office (I’ll call him Roscoe) went up to a state party official (I’ll call him Rick).  Candidate Roscoe said, “I’m outraged!”  To which Rick replied, “Why are you outraged, Roscoe?”

“There’s a meet the candidate event this weekend in Putnam County and Senator Smith (not his name) says I have to pay a hundred dollars if I want to speak!  I’m outraged.”

Rick put his hand on Roscoe’s shoulder and responded, “You should be outraged, Roscoe.  I’ve heard your speech and it isn’t worth a hundred dollars.”

True story.